Dear Fanfiction Crazies
by Pants Thief
Summary: What happens when the gods and demigods find out about this website? Well, they go on an find out what we have been writing. Tell me your stories, I will not make fun of them. Basically, give me your story to put in mine so that you can have more reviewes/edits. I may add different worlds to the mix, depending on how many faves and follows i get.
1. Pothena

Dear Fanfiction crazies, Poseidon and I are confused about stuff…

POSEIDON:

Hello. If you are reading this, you are obviously on .net.

Think of the imaginary check boxes in your head. If you have an account and make stories, check yes.

Thank you. Now, you shall be slapped for the inconveniences you have caused the Greek Pantheon. I truly hate you.

First, you say that Athena and I are dating. I have three comments to that.

Whoever started this obviously needs to be convicted of drug abuse.If you _enjoy _this pairing, it would be very smart of you to stay away from any body of water, for my curses are on you.Lastly, RUN!

ATHENA:

If you didn't take Poseidon's advice, (which was quite accurate actually), you should not be reading this. If you did not listen, that was very stupid for I am killing everyone who reads this. RANT TIME. LISTEN TO THE ADVICE NOW! RUUUUN!

I HATE YOU ALL! YOU NEED TO BE RIPPED FROM YOUR HOMES AND BURNED ALIVE WITH LEECHES COVERING YOUR SKIN AT THE SAME TIME FOR SHIPPING POTHENA. WHY WOULD I EVER BE IN "LIKE" WITH THAT BUTTOCKS OF A DEITY! HE EATS DOGS! (AN: IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, I WILL EXPLAIN IT AT THE END.)THAT DONKEY! I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL, MAKING SURE I DEVISE A SICKENING PLAN TO DESTROY ONCE AND FOR ALL! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

POSEIDON:

O.O Weirdest shared letter ever….

ATHENA:

DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!

FROM,

ATHENA AND POSEIDON

PS: I WILL KILL YOU!


	2. Hadeter

Dear Fanfiction crazies,

This is Hades.

You think I would ever be in love with my son or Perseus or Zeus?

They are my family members

I AM NOT GAY!

I do not know what force powers your imaginations, but I need to kill it. I really cannot believe that I seem gay to you. Another thing.

Why would I ever DATE Demeter?! That's like dating a gay freckle on ugly steroids who is a daughter-sorry, SON of the freaking UGLY duckling.

I'm sorry. I realized that to get mortals into my white van, I have to be kind and dressed like a leprechaun. WHO WANTS GOLD!

From,

The man in the big white van,

Hades

AN: If you got the reference to the van, leave a review and tell me what video it is….


	3. im not stupid

Dear Fanfiction acid abusers,

WTF is wrong with u al! U tink im a f'ing idiod! i m uber smart. So wat sometimes I hoe arond wit some guys, i m stil decent. bcides, i m a strait a student at onlin prek. so wat I get held bac. An, sometimes, u'l mak me tak lik i alwas was on social medea. it is not true; i got beter guys to do. i mean tings…. u know at, this riting is boring. Selena made me. bye and dont make me a idiod.

FROM,

Drew Tanaka


	4. Luke

Dear Fanfiction freaks,

I will never get Annabeth pregnant or rape her. I am her old crush; she should have a little faith in me.

Random fact, did you know that the Underworld has Wi-Fi? That's new to me!

Anyway, Annabeth was like my sister, and then I threw it all away for power. But I will never rape her. Or get her pregnant. Think of it as getting your little, innocent sister pregnant. I could if I wanted to, but I don't want to. I will leave her to Percy.

If you read this Annabeth, know that I am sorry and I love you like you are my sister. I will never forget you. And your stupid boyfriend. Have a nice life Annabeth. Hope I don't see you soon.

Sincerely,

Luke the Fallen Hero


	5. PERVERT ALERT!

Dear Fanfiction perverts,

Why do you want to know about Annabeth and I's sex life? Why do you write about it? I mean, I am not a virgin but-

ANNABETH:

Excuse me, what?

PERCY:

Okay, I am a virgin but you still don't have to imagine us doing the deed! Sheesh. The gods still think it's all real so, Poseidon and Athena grounded us for something we didn't do. Now I don't get to watch Cake Boss and Annabeth doesn't get to read for a month. She is going to go insane, so I get punished double.

So thank you Fanfiction for being perverts and getting us grounded. I'll be sure to personally _thank_ every single one of you.

ANNABETH:

Don't worry, Percy will not do anything. Just wait till he cools down from withdrawal. But seriously, don't be pervy; I can sue you for that. Goodbye!

From,

Annabeth Jackson and Percy Jackson

PS: Percy changed my stupid name on this electronic mail thingy, so I do not know how to change back. I hate you Percy. Hey, do you know….


	6. The fire of your heart

**A/N: I wrote this story for fun, off the top of my head when I was bored two days ago. You guys just made my day by reviewing and favoring and following. I realize that I have not done a disclaimer. Brace yourselves.**

**Nico: Why have you brought me here?**

**Fish: Because I want someone to do something for me ;)**

**Nico: Oh, Gods dude, I'm not gay!**

**Fish: Wait, what? NO! I don't mean it like that!**

**Nico: Then what do you mean?**

**Fish: DO THE BLOODY DISCLAIMER!**

**Nico: This may be weird but, what is a disclaimer?**

**Fish: (Facepalm) Sigh. I don't own PJATOTLT, PJATOTSOM, PJATOTTC, PJATOTBOTL, PJATOTLO, HOOTLH, HOOTSON, HOOTMOA, HOOTHOH, AND THE LAST ONE (RICK REVIELED THE TITLE) HOOTCOT!**

**(If anyone can answer fully what that all means first, they will get the next chapter dedicated to them and will be in the disclaimer. Not including the last one.)**

Dear fanfiction retards,

My name is Leo Valdez. Yes, I adore you all for saying that I'm awesome and FLAMING hot. (Pun VERY intended) But I'm not going to randomly date some made up person from your INSANE imaginations. I mean, that's like dating a column of air. And while I'm desperate, I'm not THAT desperate. Gosh, some people are just insane.

From,

Leo Valdez, the Fire of your Heart.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I am super sorry. All the PJO characters are hiding from me. So I will do the disclaimer. **

**I, Pants Thief, (Fish), do not own Percy Jackson. _YET! _ This chapter is also dedicated to Mama's BrokenHeart99 for answering my question. She will be in the chapter after the next. Mama'sBrokenHeart, please create a character and tell me why they would be mad at fanfiction. Name and reason. Thanks. Next question in next chapter.**

Dear asinine fanfiction writers,

If you dare say that would _date, _it seriously means that you are incapable of reading a proper book.

First of all, I hate men with all my immortal heart.

Second of all, I am not question six.

Third of all, if I make my hunters unable to date, would it not be hypocritical for me to date myself?

You're all lucky that I am not being as rude as Athena was. Otherwise, you would all be dead by now. For I am one of the twin goDS OF ARCHERY. THE GODDESS OF CHILDBIRTH, THE GODDESS OF THE HUNT, AND MISTRESS OVER ANIMALS! I AM CAPABLE OF MUCH MORE THAN YOU SAY! I CAN AND _**WILL**_ DESTROY YOU ALL!

Sorry. I am spending too much time calming down Athena because of you idiot mortals. But, this just goes to show that "Hell hath no fury than a woman scorned"

From,

The destroyer of men,

Artemis.

**A/N: This was dedicated to all females of the population because March is Women's Month. Next chapter, I'll do one for us men. I'm not going to shout at you to read and review, because I'm not like all those crazy authors. Does anyone know when Men's Month is?**


	8. Perrise

**Fish: YOU'RE MY B***H NOW! DO THE DARN DISCLAIMER BEFORE I WHIP YOU WITH MY HULK STICK!**

***tell me if u got that reference.**

**NICO: (Whimpers) Pants Thief does not own the Percy Jackson series. **

**Fish: Thank you, B***H!**

**Dear Fanfiction Crazies**,

This is an example of the crazy idea of Percy and me dating.

_When Percy first comes into my range of vision, I feel a sudden and sickening mixture of hatred and butterflies. I don't know why, but I am simultaneously attracted to him… (**From Quirkista: Change of Hearts. Pretty good if you ask me.)**_

Do I look like a lesbian to you? Yeah! Your hero is a total girl. You guys make me have to go through cat calls from the Stoll's every time Percy and I are in the same room. You guys make me have to go through Chris' late night shouts of anger at Percy.

Secondly, Annabeth is the lesbian that has Percy under her wing. I don't know what's wrong with you all. And, I have Chris Rodriguez, hottest in the world.

Lastly, I AM NOT a sap. I don't get butterflies or any of that. I should pulverize all of you. Anybody who says that I'm a sap is a total idiot.

From,

Your Murder

Clarisse

**A/N Mama'sBrokenHeart99, hurry up with the character creation so I can put you in. **

**A/N: **i decided that the men's cha**P**ter will not be happening until further notice. becau**S**e girls are **Y**ackety and more **C**aring and kinder t**H**an boys. by**E** for now.

**Tell me the secret word to get a chapter dedicated to you and a character. First one wins.**


	9. ResoniperReynaJasonPiperChaos

**A/N: Mama's Broken Heart99 has told me what she wants. So…..**

**Nico: Do you want me to do it by myself master?**

**Fish: No, B***H! I WANT THE OTHER ONE TO DO IT! LEAVE MY SIGHT AND GET THE AUDIENCE READY FOR THE NIGHT ;)**

**Mama'sBrokenHeart99: Um…. Okay**

**Fish: Please do the disclaimer nice person. J**

**Mama'sBrokenHeart99: You were so mean….**

**Fish: I SAID DO THE DISCLAIMER!**

**Mama'sBrokenHeart99: Okay, sheesh. Pants Thief doesn't, (and hopefully never will), own the Percy Jackson Series. There! Gosh. Anger issues.**

**Fish: Thank you. Would you like to join the audience tonight? ;)**

**Mama'sBrokenHeart99: Ewwww. No**

**Fish: Then Leave.**

**Mama'sBrokenHeart99: You people still haven't found the secret message in the last chapter, so the first gets a dedicated chapter, a character/couple choice, and a virtual cookie.**

**Fish: ALWAYS TRUST THE MAN IN THE BIG WHITE VAN! I THINK THE DISCLAIMER MAY BE LONGER THAN THE CHAPTER!**

Dear Fanfiction freaks,

REYNA:

Jason has that rag, Piper. But, I will kill her to get Jason back. He is MINE. I love him. You all misunderstand me, though. I am not extremely desperate that I would date The Human Torch 2 (Leo). I am not desperate enough to become a slutty person. I am respectful and the Praetor of the Roman Camp. BUT PIPER, IF YOU MANAGE TO READ THIS, I WILL DESTROY YOU. RIP OFF YOUR FLESH AND USE IT FOR THE YUMMY CHOPPED LIVER, (MADE FROM YOUR INTESTINES), AS SAUCE. THEN, I WILL BURN YOUR EYES AND CUT YOUR MOUTH INTO PIECES, GIVE THE MIDDLE PIECE TO DREW AND THE REST ON THE APHRODITE CABIN! I HATE YOU! YOU TOOK MY MAN FROM ME! (runs, sobbing)

JASON:

Awww. Now I feel so bad for her. I mean, she could have been my girlfriend. If she hadn't have told me how she would kill Piper, I definitely would ask her out. Hmm…..

PIPER:

No Jason! Don't fall for that she-male!

REYNA:

HOW DARE YOU ENTER THE LETTER! LEAVE NOW BEFORE MY PREDICTIONS COME TO PASS!

JASON:

GIRLS, GIRLS! LET'S SETTLE THIS LATER, OKAY!

REYNA:

Fine…

PIPER:

Fine…

From,

Jason, Reyna, and Piper

**Fish: I was wrong…. First time for everything, I guess.**

**Mama'sBrokenHeart99: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! First time, my butt!**

**Fish: I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE…. **


	10. I am dating someone

**This is dedicated to SusieCJ. I need her to tell me what she wants to be in the next chapter.**

**SusieCJ: I will do the disclaimer.**

**Fish: Okay…..Go ahead, you're much nicer than the other one.**

**SusieCJ: Pants Thief does not own Percy Jackson and the Olympians. YET!**

Dear fanfiction people,

I am happily dating Annabeth. I do not know why you guys pair me with VERY strange people.

Nico is my cousin and I am not gay.

Thalia is my cousin and she is a Hunter.

Rachel is one of my greatest friends, I only had a small crush, and she is the Oracle.

Clarrise, Hades, Poseidon, Zeus, ATHENA, Artemis, Apollo, or any other gods/goddesses: Just no.

Jason: He has Piper and I'M NOT GAY!

I haven't heard of any more pairings, but if there not with Annabeth, they are HORRIBLE!

From,

The happily dating Annabeth person,

Percy Jackson


	11. KRONOS Y LUKE

**Percy: Whoa. Where am I? **

**Fish: You're in my writing house.**

**Percy: You write?**

**Fish: Yeah, got a problem with it?**

**Percy: No.**

**Fish: Do the disclaimer please.**

**Percy: No.**

**Fish: I WILL kill Nico!  
Percy: (Pulls out Riptide) No.**

**Fish: Fiiiiiiiiine. Pants Thief does not own Percy Jackson/Heroes of Olympus/All the stories that you guys want me to talk about.**

Dear fan fiction daffys,

I am a Titan. I hate the gods, goddesses, and demigods.

I am in Tartarus. Therefore, I will never be raised to play Truth or Dare. Neither will Luke.

Why would I WANT to play a children's game? You only make mistakes like that ONCE!

I hate the fact that you all think I would want to play games. I'm plotting the Third Titan Wa—

LUKE:

Don't tell anyone that! BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!

KRONOS:

How did you get here?

LUKE:

Nonya

KRONOS:

Nonya?

LUKE:

Nonya BUSINESS! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOA!

KRONOS:

YOU SHALL BE DESTROYED

From,

Kronos y Luke

**FOR SUSIECJ **


End file.
